I found my password to this site only to reply to this: I am, it's a work in progress, and theres so many different failure modes I'll just keep going.
Honestly I'd happily discuss any of the topics, especially the one command let's encrypt docker topic. The team and I are crazy excited about let's encrypt and the potential of zero downtime deployments using a container architecture
I'm looking into integrating my nginx containers with LetsEncrypt too. Maybe with a dedicated container for the LE client that accepts new domain requests and keeps certs up to date, and confd + etcd/consul/etc to deploy certs and configs to nginx containers.
Yeah I've been considering a CI container + data volume with a CD pipeline to do that; zero downtime if you factor in anything but your own load balancers is tough though
It's not a marketing blog actually; it's a developer blog by my team and I who work heavily and provide technical details on how we're doing interesting things with docker and swarm.
Literally nothing is written by "marketing" - just developers. And it's definitely not spam, if you look at https://getcarina.com/blog/push-button-lets-encrypt/ for example it's a complete tutorial on a simple nginix and docker let's encrypt post.
If it ever a marketing blog, I'll happily give myself a wedgie.
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it's a marketing blog run by developers. Marketing isn't some specific department certified as containing Marketers by the federal government. It's an activity with a goal to expand the market reach for a product, service, brand, or any other entity.
This is marketing content... And there's nothing wrong with that! We all market ourselves every day of the year. We may not admit to it or realize it, but it's inescapable.
Grow up without money and constant financial worry, without a sense of home / self and few / no friends and start in the workforce when you're a teenager. You find yourself in "always make more money to be more secure" and "always look for validation from other that you belong". You become career driven as thats what defines you - and a "community" becomes your self reinforcement and friends.
This is an important observation about identity (a sense of self) itself.
What's more interesting to me is that the point remains valid even after replacing "money" with "love", "financial worry" with "social anxiety", "workforce" with "family" and "career" with "family", viz:
> Grow up without love and constant social anxiety, without a sense of home / self and few / no friends and start in the family when you're a teenager. You find yourself in "always love [more] to be more secure" and "always look for validation from other that you belong". You become family driven as thats what defines you - and a "community" becomes your self reinforcement and friends.
The question then becomes: why the need to identify in the first place? Why the need to "define" oneself (be it via a career or family)?
Wow. That's a very interesting point you touch on!
I've noticed that many of my late-twenties / early-thirties friends struggle with their current lives, and I think it often is because of what you describe: they spent so much time trying to 'become' that they never really considered or learned how to 'be'.
I struggle with this myself sometimes, too, and I consider learning how to 'be' with what I am now to be one of my biggest challenges and most important skills to practice.
I don't think it's a late-twenties or early-thirties thing. I'm 50, and many people in my own age cohort (including me) have to deal with the same issues. IMO it has to do with the kind of community one grew up in vs. the kind of community one occupies as a computer professional. If they're significantly different, there's a feeling of being an outsider/impostor and of having to try to fit in. If they're the same, there's no such drive. People who grow up poor and find themselves living amidst the relative affluence of high tech are often the most aggressive about either saving money or showing the outward signs of wealth. People who are the first in their families to get a good education are often the most likely to value it and/or show it off. You see the same sort of thing among people who lived through the Great Depression, or WW2 and its aftermath. In contrast, people who had all these things since birth tend to take them for granted and not think about them much. Cinderella never quite felt as comfortable in the castle as everyone else seemed to.
"I recognize myself in the behavior that the writer describes. Going all-in on too many things, and all the negative consequences that result from that."
Considering that I struggled with, uh, 'self-medication' for quite a while, you might very well be right. Something to think about. Perhaps my cessation strategies can help with this too.
From my ex, and good friend whose account got mod-flagged for unknown reasons:
""
This is beautiful, truly thank you for your judgement.
While it is none of anyone's business. This was an AMICABLE decision both Jesse and I came to. MA is the girls home. We moved to TX as a thought things could get better, new job that was supposed to give us our life together back. The girls wanted to be home, near family, near friends so they could heal. Jesse saw their pain and mine.. I suppose caring for children and doing what they need is selfish. Then I am very selfish to give my children what they need.
This context-missing statement is the epitome of what Jesse always despised about the internet.""
Since the context was missing, don't take it so personal. It wasn't clear that the kids originally grew up in that far away place. All I said is "it sounds xyz", it's not an eternal judgment.
This is out of line. It's you who should not have made a personal slight in the first place; if "the context was missing", that only means you didn't know what you were talking about.
Nobody gets to impugn specific people's lives like that here. Since your account is new we'll assume that you didn't know this, but please read the guidelines and in the future, post civilly and substantively or not at all.
The problem is that words like 'selfish' are personal; that's precisely their meaning. It's one thing to say 'don't take it so personal' in a technical discussion where it should be clear to all participants that e.g. pointing out a bug in someone's code is not a personal thing, but if you're going to make remarks on topics that are personal rather than technical, you should either phrase them more tactfully, or else stick to using the Internet for technical discussions.
And a reply from my ex (and good friend) whose account got flagged "dead" (dnoller13) to you:
As the ex - He is in the process of healing, dealing with doctors, finding himself and probably in some ways, some of the physical distance might be good thing. What folks don't know is that we co-parent even from a distance. Yes the girls miss him. Miss his hugs, his close presence. However they understand that their Dad is still there for them. We have a good schedule to ensure that during extended breaks he gets to see them, either here or there.
One day we do hope he will come back here as this is where the girls have called home. However can remain patient and nonjudgmental until that time.
Those comments were killed by a spam filter. Those are tuned more aggressively for new accounts. We marked dnoller13's account legit so it won't happen again.
In the meantime, HN users restored both of those comments by vouching for them. We added this feature recently: alongside 'flag', you will see a 'vouch' link if a comment is dead. If enough users click 'vouch', the comment is restored.
Nooooooo - it wasn't a drive by email about a patch. It was rot from personalities and bad actors questioning every aspect of being part of a community, trying to push for change, lead, etc.
Luckily, I am in fact talking to a licensed therapist and they disagree with your assessment provided additional context and that's ok. The internet is a hard place for empathy.
Callous? Yes, no? I haven't finished the 3(!) followups to this, so by way of empathizing with your end-result (e.g. just move) with the information I also have I can say "it is not a binary choice".
Factor in the following: my ex and I are still best friends and confidants. As we went through this little slice of hell, what was best for our kids above what was best for us was top of mind.
Now, factor in the following: I've learned - the hard way - that investing yourself into certain things can net you things you didn't have. For example, without dumping all into the community, I wouldn't be where I am in my career, and I would not have discovered things about what I want to do in that career.
Now factor in what I described is the sign of an extremely obsessive, insecure, and potentially depressed personality with no actual definition of "self" outside of community, work, and kids. Literally - now that I've set boundaries I'm busy looking around saying "Uh. Shit. Who am I?"
Now factor in the strict clinical definition of what you go through in a divorce - it's akin to significant loss (e.g a death in the family). You go through (as I am) many stages of that including grief, depression, etc. I'm somewhere in the no man's land without an end in sight just as of yet.
Now factor in the severe anxiety and depression that comes with all of that. Yes - I could quit my job and move just to be near my girls. However not being physically or mentally fit outside of my definition of self in my career I would be throwing myself into a position of not "not moving on my own terms".
Think of it like this: I agreed, with my ex, that this would be the best course of action for now. Just up and moving wouldn't solve the root cause of why we separated, it would just solve one aspect of "me". This would result in a probable mis-directed resentment on my part towards my ex, my children and others.
Therefore, while given the information you gleaned you may be correct albeit callous, you are right that there are many more factors in a situation like this to be taken into account.
Net-net - mental health is hard. Recovery is hard - you can't tell a depressed person to "just don't be sad" and you can tell a person with an addiction (such as I've gone through) to just "give it up" without a goal, or a process by which to solve the root cause.
Thanks a lot for responding - it's clearly a rough time for you but I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my random internet comment.
I look forward to reading the followups! I can't say I totally understand (as probably no one can), but wish you the best overcoming this addiction, and getting back to your sense of "you".
