Ben doesn't share that backstory, but it's irrelevant to his point. He is suggesting that he might have gone to jail by association with her and having done something illegal at his own company. Hence his statement:

"Since we had the same head of finance, we almost certainly would have been investigated.... The whole thing was a case of the old saying: “When the paddy wagon pulls up to the house of ill repute, it doesn’t matter what you are doing. Everybody goes to jail.” Once the SEC decided that most technology company stock option procedures were not as desired, the jail sentences were handed out arbitrarily."

So even if she did much worse things at her old company, the SEC could have decided that he broke the law too (even if in a less major way), and should go to jail too.

No.

She did not go to jail for option grant backdating. She paid a fine for option grant backdating.

If you were honest with your auditors and did not lie to the SEC, you generally had at most an enforcement action and income restatement.

https://www.sec.gov/spotlight/optionsbackdating.htm