I've experienced this as well - albeit in a slightly modified form, but one more people can relate to.
I work with a friend of mine who has a non-profit to repair and donate power wheelchairs and scooters for people in need. Basically, he gets old or unused chairs (you'd be surprised at how many "new" chairs get donated - simply because the batteries died, and people can't afford new ones), and we fix them up, clean them up, then donate them back out (many times they get donated back to us when the person no longer needs the chair).
Anyhow, one year we decided to go to the Abilities Expo which was being held in Los Angeles that year. As a part of this experience, we decided to take some of our chairs (including some we had customized in various ways - my friend is also an artist when it comes to metal craft - and fire art) to the expo to ride in them and "experience" what users of these chairs experience and gain that perspective, so we could apply what we learned to customizations and such.
What we learned are that people are assholes (big surprise).
Despite us being in chairs, at an Expo dedicated to products and companies marketing devices, materials, etc for those in need - we experienced on a constant basis people not watching out for us, stepping in our way of travel, not respecting us as human beings (like some people couldn't even look us in the eye as we talked with them - like we weren't human or something), etc. We also found the aisles between vendors to be poorly laid out for wheelchair and similar navigation.
We came away from that conference with a new perspective on what power wheelchair users and other people in similar situations face - and it isn't a very nice situation to be in. Furthermore, these are real people, intelligent people - just with a different way of getting around.
Unfortunately, for many able-bodied individuals, it appears that those with less ability to move around either don't exist to them, or are a nuisance in some manner - or they have some kind of fear about their situation. The experience greatly opened my eyes to something which until that time, I hadn't been aware of (iow - I was probably one of those on "the other side").
I understand that people not being able to look you in the eye makes you feel extremely disrespected.
But I don't think it helps anyone for you to jump from there to assuming that what's going on inside their head is "[I don't] respect [this person] as a human being".
To be clear, I think other things you mention, like not getting out of your way, are evidence of that. But eye contact? Probably anxiety from an unfamiliar social situation.
I would go a bit further, and say it is from trying not to be rude. For example, it is rude to stare, and if you encounter someone who has a disability, you want to counter the natural instinct to stare by over-compensating and not looking. Also, if you look at someone in a wheelchair in the eye, you are also looking down at them, which seems rude. But if you kneel down so you are at eye level, you are now patronizing them. So what is the correct behavior, especially if you are trying hard to be polite but it is conveying the opposite effect?
I agree that a good part of it is trying not to stare and things like that.
The answer is somewhere in betweeen. Don't stare too long, much like you would try not to stare too long at a beautiful person. If you make eye contact, say hi.
Don't kneel down, but instead make eye contact as you speak. Just like you would with someone quite a bit shorter than you - or the way you'd look up to a tall person when speaking. If the person seems to be struggling to reach something, simply ask if they'd like some help.
'But I don't think it helps anyone for you to jump from there to assuming that what's going on inside their head is "[I don't] respect [this person] as a human being".'
Probably true. However, that's also applicable to most other forms of discrimination. A police officer responding with greater force to a black person than they would to white person is probably not thinking "I don't respect this person as a human being", but nevertheless, their actions and thought processes are different, and are legitimately -not- treating the person as, well, a full person, but as some sort of 'other' that does not demand the same respect, the same courtesy, etc. Eye contact is part of that; if they offer eye contact to able bodied people, the fact that they don't to the disabled, irrespective of the explicit thoughts going through their head, is indicative of them viewing the disabled as an 'other' that does not necessitate that same courtesy.
I don't know about you, but I am certainly uncomfortable (in a way that would probably manifest with loss of eye contact, fidgeting, closed/protective body language etc.) standing up while talking to someone who is sitting down (at least at chair height, probably not on a bar stool). Doesn't matter if it's a stranger or my best friend, though a stranger (especially one with stereotype threat) would presumably take more offense.
> But eye contact? Probably anxiety from an unfamiliar social situation.
I'd hesitate to tell the OP they are wrong when they are the ones that experienced this situation and not you.
If they noticed this being a lot more common when they were in the chair than when they were out of it, that implies that the change is in them, not in the other party's base level of social anxiety. And if they are more socially anxious around people in chairs than those who are not, that is absolutely a problem to be addressed, not to be waved away as "oh, social anxiety is what it is".
> If they noticed this being a lot more common when they were in the chair than when they were out of it, that implies that the change is in them, not in the other party's base level of social anxiety. And if they are more socially anxious around people in chairs than those who are not, that is absolutely a problem to be addressed, not to be waved away as "oh, social anxiety is what it is".
I agree with both of these statements. I took care to word my comment not to imply otherwise, but apologies if I was still unclear.
One thing to realize, is that these people - all of us - were at an event called Abilities Expo:
For those people (not all of them, mind you, but way more than I expected) to have social anxiety around those in chairs really says something - the mix of people at that event included people from all walks of life - from those in chairs, and their families, to salespeople presenting and hawking all manner of products (I was floored at what it cost to specially customize automobiles for those in chairs to drive), to caregivers and others. These are all people who -should- be comfortable (and accommodating) around those with less mobility, so the lack of eye contact was surprising.
I do apologize and agree, though, that my conclusion as to what they might be thinking is unfounded; I obviously can't know what they were really thinking or why.
This is something I've been similarly realizing about the sidewalks in my neighborhood now that I have a baby I need to push around in a stroller. My neighborhood is kind of hipsterish and a lot of people think urban residential districts are good places to grow agriculture. They build these gigantic, unkempt gardens in their front yards (I call these people "front-yard farm fanciers" for this reason, because alliterations are allegedly always accurate).[0] At first, it was just annoying to have to step out into the street to get around fallen sunflower plants, or the clouds of insects that fruit and vegetable plants attract, because of course these sorts of people also don't believe in insecticides.
With a stroller, I'm less mobile than walking on my own, but I suspect I'm more mobile than a person in a wheelchair. There have been places that have been challenging for me. Telephone poles in the middle of the sidewalk, flanked on one side by cars and the other side with stratchy or thorny (or smelly! Flowers are sexual organs!) plants. The sidewalk is cut into two, 6-inch wide strips.
It makes me extremely self-conscious and anxious about my work in Virtual Reality and how I have absolutely zero realistic plan for accessibility yet. In a way, our current state of VR being very early is a good opportunity to really rethink accessibility and start taking a more serious, more pervasive approach to it. VR is itself an accessibility feature, just much further on the "physically standard" end of the spectrum than standard desktop computers. I've been trying to make a framework that makes gracefully degrading from full room-scale VR down all the way to mouse-and-keyboard/FPS-style play, or even touch-panned mobile work. But it's a lot of work and the night is dark and full of terrors.
[0] You can tell the people who are just starting out for the first time, when they have more than one tomato plant. One place had 10 tomato plants in their front yard. The only way to use that many tomatoes is to start a side business in canning tomato sauce!
I'd like to live in a neighborhood where my biggest obstacle on the sidewalk is a fallen sunflower plant, and not the pile of human excrement in the middle of the sidewalk, not the homeowner that decided as long as his car is not sticking out into the street, it's ok to park half in his driveway and half in the sidewalk, and that there's actually a complete sidewalk, it doesn't suddenly end for a block because for whatever reason, that undeveloped property was never required to build a sidewalk.
My parents grew a lot of tomatoes... I want to say we had at least 12 plants in a row in the garden - summer was tomato season, tomato sandwiches, fried green tomatoes, we shared and traded with neighbors for whatever was growing in their garden, and mom canned what we couldn't eat immediately so we had them all winter.
As a new parent, I'm surprised you're not more tolerant of these "save the world" hipsters since they are reducing their impact today to save the world for your child(ren).
We don't get human excrement, but we do get the dog variety, even though the city puts out bag dispensers everywhere. And yeah, we get all of those other things, too. Actually, I'm about half convinced there is one guy in our neighborhood who tore up the sidewalk in front of his house, extended his lawn, and just plain got away with it for 20 years.
You want to play farmer, there's plenty of farm land just outside of the city. Agriculture does not belong in urban centers for a reason. It's a public nuisance. These people also don't pick their plants on time, so the rotting vegetables attract insects and vermin from everywhere. There's a reason cities and farms are separated and it's not "cuz cars".
Hmm - regarding your comments on VR and accessibility - if something like this hasn't already been done: How about a wheelchair simulator app (experience the world - to an extent - as how someone confined to a chair might).
Trying to navigate a world not built for wheels. Or reaching things high on a shelf. Or navigating narrow corridors. Or simply trying to get up on the sidewalk (some of the transition "lips" from street level to sidewalk level are more than you'd think).
Such a simulation could also serve the practical purpose of seeing how to change things to better accommodate those in chairs...
Seriously - while spending a day in a chair doesn't begin to approach what these people experience in their day-to-day lives, it does give you a fresh look and experience that will change your perspective. At least, that's what I experienced.
>we experienced on a constant basis people not watching out for us, stepping in our way of travel, not respecting us as human beings
This seems like an exaggeration. How does this differ from your daily life? Are people wonderfully warm to you randomly and for no reason? This seems like the norm here to me. Most of us are stuck in our heads and in our own little worlds and miss a lot of whats going around outside of us. That doesn't make us bad people.
Personally, I find it difficult to engage people with handicaps or other obvious health issues. I don't want them to feel like I'm gawking or staring. So I look away. Perhaps that's why people weren't looking you in the eye as much. Perhaps us flawed people don't see you as 'not human' but we just don't want to offend you or make a spectacle out of you.
Also those new-ish electric scooters are almost whisper quiet. I've been at the grocery store many times where I blocked someone like this. I literally cannot hear them come up behind me like I would, say, a woman's high heeled shoe on tile. I'm sorry but you'll need to speak up if I'm in your way. I'm not psychic.
I think you might be projecting a narrative here that fits your personal politics, but may not really be true at all. Its easy to generalize random people out in public as assholes, but I think the idea that there's this agreement that we all should be rude to wheelchair bound people is ridiculous. If anything I see strangers trip over themselves to open doors for them and such. I see strangers ask to help blind people cross the street here in Chicago fairly often and very often on public trans. I see a lot altruism with the disabled in general. I think perhaps you should consider alternate theories to explain what you think you're perceiving.
You treat wheelchair users differently than you do other people, and when they say "you're treating me differently, stop doing that" you say people are exaggerating and projecting.
I wouldn't say that in my day-to-day life people are "wonderfully warm" to me randomly - but they do acknowledge me as a person, they see that I am there, and they aren't anxious (or whatever) to look at me.
But in a chair - at an Expo dedicated to products for the differently-abled of all places - things were different. Maybe what you say might be the reason - but again, many of these people were caregivers and salespeople for companies marketing products to people with chairs and needs.
In the course of working with my friend, and meeting with people who have different abilities and needs, many have impressed upon me how they themselves are perceived as lesser than able-bodied individuals. Many had this perspective after being in an accident or having come into a condition that necessitated the use of a chair later in life, so they knew how they were treated before by others, and how they are now treated.
In fact, that's how my friend came to be doing what he does; his brother came down with a condition, literally in the prime of his life. My friend saw how people treated him, and wanted to do something to alleviate this - so he turned to customizing chairs, and did so for his brother, and found that people would then talk -to- him - not around him. It was like the "cool chair" was an icebreaker or something; it eventually led to the non-profit, but making custom chairs is his real passion.
These people are more offended - and disappointed - by other not making eye contact, or talking with them - as if they aren't there. Many just want to be seen and acknowledged, like we all do.
Regarding the quietness of scooters and chairs - yes, they are insanely quiet, and in normal day-to-day situations, that can be a problem even for people who wouldn't think or dream of being a problem for those in the chairs. Perfectly understandable, but it is something that needs to have greater awareness made about. Much like there are campaigns for "watch for motorcyclists" - we need the same kind of awareness for those in these quiet chairs. My friend and I have experimented with mods to make chairs more "visible" or "audible", but we are also at odds with the manufacturers of these chairs at times (some of the things we'd like to do are near to impossible because we can't get access to the chair's "internals" - for good reason, ultimately).
Finally, I agree that not everyone, or even most people, is out to be "assholes" to those in chairs. But again, remember that I experienced all of this at an Abilities Expo - one place where I would think people would be -more- accommodating, not at the regular base-level, or less. Furthermore, I still can't discount the experiences of those who actually use these chairs on a day-to-day basis. While I acknowledge that alternate theories are possible and likely in many cases, I still think there is a widespread, perhaps unconscious "something" that causes people to act differently around those who are using such mobility devices.
>Much like there are campaigns for "watch for motorcyclists"
That's because cars moving at 30+ mph can kill a cyclist.
Asking you to peep up when I'm blocking the cheerios doesn't need a similar campaign. Its on you to say 'excuse me' just like everyone else does. The disabled people I know want to be treated like everyone else. I don't think you need to agonize over how they ask to get the cheerios here.
It really does feel like you're looking for things to get offended at. Considering how little time you've spent in the chair, I suspect your level of expertise and experience just isn't there to make sweeping generalizations about society. If you internalize an "everyone is an asshole" attitude then you'll see it, but its ultimately confirmation bias at work here.
How could this experience be improved? The "funny" behaviour of sneaking up behind it and covering its eyes is just inexperience with the rules that come with new tech perhaps. Some of it might improve by just upping the number of telemachines on the streets.
* How visual is your head? Do you see someone's head also from behind?
* Do people know it's a person or do they think it's an AI?
* Do people know you're a visitor or do they think you're a researcher?
* It's small. Would making it bigger already help?
* I say excuse me when I want to pass through. How good is the audio to convey that intent?
* Do you see your surroundings good enough? People are smart in finding their way, so might see a different route you can take and don't step aside because of that.
And probably a 100 other things to research and improve!
That's a "prank" video, but I'm quite serious - it does demonstrate that people will instinctively move out of the way when they hear a bike bell. And towards the end of the video (1:38-1:47), he even uses it successfully on an escalator, and in the aisles of a grocery store - so the effect isn't limited to places where you'd expect to encounter bikes.
The Beam is a wimpy teleoperator. Send the new Atlas, from Boston Dynamics [1], to a conference, and you won't have that problem. People running away in terror might be more of an issue.
(It's not clear what will become of Boston Dynamics. Google wants to sell them. DARPA and the Marines gave up on their BigDog as not militarily useful. The technology is impressive, but it cost well over $100 million (mostly DoD funding) and 25 years to get to this point, with no market in sight.)
To admit this, especially within the confines of the technology industry, is to show weakness.
Really? It seems like every conference I go to the hottest off-subject topics of chit-chat are griping about conferences, work travel, and stress of above. Followed closely by other crowd favorites "things used to be better" and "I haven't walked more than a mile a day in months, my feet suddenly hurt!"
We have a Beam. We put a staff shirt on it just to humanize it a bit and it worked pretty well. From a distance you can't really tell if it's a robot or a dispenser. Our Beam is 2 pedestals with a screen and camera. Our sanitizer dispenser is 2 pedestals with a head full of sanitizer gel. If you put them next to each other you have a 50% chance someone would stick their hand under the Beam camera expecting gel to come out.
I used a Beam to "attend" a robotics conference in San Jose (just a short drive from my house, but I wanted to try it out). A lot of people treated "me" oddly, of course, but it did work to get vendor info.
It felt like a kind of gimmick until I had one amazing experience. I was talking to a sales guy from a big machine company -- he looks like he used to sell trucks or aerospace stuff. He forgot that he was talking to a screen and at one point leant forward to touch my on the "arm" (I assume he touched the vertical screen supports). We both laughed. But it was a telling moment.
I work with a friend of mine who has a non-profit to repair and donate power wheelchairs and scooters for people in need. Basically, he gets old or unused chairs (you'd be surprised at how many "new" chairs get donated - simply because the batteries died, and people can't afford new ones), and we fix them up, clean them up, then donate them back out (many times they get donated back to us when the person no longer needs the chair).
Anyhow, one year we decided to go to the Abilities Expo which was being held in Los Angeles that year. As a part of this experience, we decided to take some of our chairs (including some we had customized in various ways - my friend is also an artist when it comes to metal craft - and fire art) to the expo to ride in them and "experience" what users of these chairs experience and gain that perspective, so we could apply what we learned to customizations and such.
What we learned are that people are assholes (big surprise).
Despite us being in chairs, at an Expo dedicated to products and companies marketing devices, materials, etc for those in need - we experienced on a constant basis people not watching out for us, stepping in our way of travel, not respecting us as human beings (like some people couldn't even look us in the eye as we talked with them - like we weren't human or something), etc. We also found the aisles between vendors to be poorly laid out for wheelchair and similar navigation.
We came away from that conference with a new perspective on what power wheelchair users and other people in similar situations face - and it isn't a very nice situation to be in. Furthermore, these are real people, intelligent people - just with a different way of getting around.
Unfortunately, for many able-bodied individuals, it appears that those with less ability to move around either don't exist to them, or are a nuisance in some manner - or they have some kind of fear about their situation. The experience greatly opened my eyes to something which until that time, I hadn't been aware of (iow - I was probably one of those on "the other side").