It's common for those more 'high-functioning' - i.e. more able to 'mask' in society - to not receive a diagnosis until much later in life. Anthony Hopkins was not diagnosed til late in his life [1].
I mentioned it already elsewhere in this thread, but if you want to explore things further it may be worth taking the RAADS-R [2]. While the test itself, and self diagnosis in general, is in no way comprehensive, it may help, and can be the first step towards a diagnosis.
> At the Culver City office, overhead lights bothered one or two colleagues so much that everyone agreed to work without artificial lights, so that often, by the end of the day, they are all working in pitch darkness, rectangles of soft, bright light from their computers illuminating their faces.
Oh crap. I chose the quiet office without windows over the noisy office with windows, then I took all but one of the bulbs out of the overheads and put a lamp on my desk.
The email thing hit a bit too close to home, I always worry about the tone and whether I'm been too blunt, my boss has commented (not disparagingly) that I can be direct, I asked if that meant rude but apparently not, just direct.
To add, its not even something that presents itself the same way at different stages of life. Many high functioning folks had a lot of very classic troubles early in life with sensory overload, anxiety and missing social cues, but have eventually developed filters and coping mechanisms to have a lot less of a problem as they grow older, even to the extent that its a "hidden" feature that causes trouble to the person but nobody would suspect. It comes out in the form of staying home for an anxiety attack, depression, or occasional social cue slips.
I mentioned it already elsewhere in this thread, but if you want to explore things further it may be worth taking the RAADS-R [2]. While the test itself, and self diagnosis in general, is in no way comprehensive, it may help, and can be the first step towards a diagnosis.
[1] https://eu.desertsun.com/story/life/entertainment/people/bru...
[2] https://aspietests.org/