I have learned, slowly and painfully, that I need to wait 24 hours before saying yes to any optional assignment. I'm too optimistic about my available time and wired to be a people pleaser. When I'm asked to help and I recognize a gap I can fill, I tend to volunteer, even if I'm not the right person for the job. Days or weeks later, I realize it was the wrong decision then the Ugh feelings start up in earnest.
It's important for me to realistically assess whether I have the knowledge, desire, and time to do the task. I'm learning to say no more often than I would like, and to be less afraid of the consequences of saying no. Promising to do something I can't or won't do is bad for everyone.
Better to think on the decision and politely say no up front if I don't have the time or interest or enthusiasm required to get the job done.
I can relate. One thing that's helped me has been to remember that saying "yes" to thing A means saying "no" to many other things B-Z (not to mention sometimes then being _expected_ to say yes to A again in future). Good luck!
That's really great introspection. I have the same tendency which has led to creating some really deeply unpleasant situations for myself. I hadn't thought about it quite in the same way until I read your comment, thank you for sharing this. I think I've just had a light blink on in my head.
Yeah same - I get excited about new balls to chase which has on multiple occasions left me feeling overwhelmed and stuck with a longer to-do list than I can handle without wanting to pull my hair out.
I like the 24 hours tip, that seems like a good tool to help let the initial excitement of something new and exciting cool off a bit.
I have learned, slowly and painfully, that I need to wait 24 hours before saying yes to any optional assignment. I'm too optimistic about my available time and wired to be a people pleaser. When I'm asked to help and I recognize a gap I can fill, I tend to volunteer, even if I'm not the right person for the job. Days or weeks later, I realize it was the wrong decision then the Ugh feelings start up in earnest.
It's important for me to realistically assess whether I have the knowledge, desire, and time to do the task. I'm learning to say no more often than I would like, and to be less afraid of the consequences of saying no. Promising to do something I can't or won't do is bad for everyone.
Better to think on the decision and politely say no up front if I don't have the time or interest or enthusiasm required to get the job done.