We've been thinking hard about how we all navigate our expanding digital lives, and we at Apple think the greatest breakthroughs can only occur when we really take time to sit, consider and recharge. In 2017 we introduced Screen Time, a revolutionary way to track your digital usage, putting you in control. This year, we're going one step further and we're excited to announce Recharge Time, only for iPhone 15.
Tim, would you please make sure the right people approve my app? I just sent for approval a wicked cool app that makes old phones new. And, as we know every old phone is a new phone about to be purchased - wink, wink!
So, here is the app I am introducing for August 2022 - Down Time, only for new iPhones. Down Time monitors all phone inputs, sensors, and the like - all when the phone is "down". This allows the Powerful Apple Silicon inside the iPhone on your desk to generate ML heuristics that map how the phone is used when it is not being used - when it is turned off, charging, left in the car, etc. Of course, the next step is to create local SMS messages and notifications that illustrate which of my other apps in the store will make the phone function better. If none of my apps will run on a phone, I create a red, warning hazard of a notification that says a NEW iPhone must be purchased to continue using this family of apps. It's a WIN-WIN, Tim. Please get this approved right quick!
Sorry IncRnd, your app has been rejected on the grounds that it duplicates functionality of a core (about to be) included app. Apple's Relax Time does this, and will be out on the next release.
P.S. We cross-our-hearts-promise we didn't just start this after we read your submission, and have been working on this for months, if not years. Hell, I'm sure we can find some email or memo from the prior decade that seems relevant if you press us.
You still owe me a fn Macbook Pro because my "recharge time" included my machine bursting into flames on my bed, and the machine was under recall for bursting into flames, and you refused to replace the machine that burst into flames as stated by the recall, and nearly killed me, could have burned down a house, because of the "moisture sensor"
