I'm trying to decide if you really enjoyed it, or are deceiving me (us) to get upvoted. I am ashamed of myself for thinking another human being is being deceitful, when in fact he may actually be being completely honest.

I am now worrying that telling complete truths is taking too much time, self-reflection and thinking to be good as a day-to-day activity.

Legitimately funny. Reminded me of my favorite Futurama quote:

"You're just jealous."

"No I'm not! Oh wait, I am! But my point remains valid."

I don't know if your jealousy remark was accurate or not, but this whole thing is definitely amusing.