My family has a healthy dose of depression passed down. I can read it in every word you're writing. It's just a chemical reaction, you can defeat it but it will be tough. Incremental improvement is crucial, you don't need to make big changes, but small ones.
Achievement cures depression. Any achievement. Dead time exacerbates depression - i.e. watching TV, drinking, drugs, playing mindless games, social media, porn, hell even reading sometimes if it's trash and you're just reading to escape your reality. One to two hours of entertainment time a day is fine, but more than that will just make you feel worse. Quit escaping your life because it's shitty or it will remain shitty.
So try this, set a small goal for yourself, either fitness or professional. You could take an online course to refresh your BI skills. Give that 100%. Knock it out, get some kind of certificate. Frame it.
Fitness always makes me feel better (plus it boosts serotonin). Try the "Couch to 5k" program online. You start just doing a light walk and jog, next thing you know you're running a race. That will make you feel great, I promise, it's awesome. If you have bad knees or something buy a bike, do a bike race.
Pick one small thing that you can win at, a relatively easy goal. Demolish it. The rest will come as you continue to set small goals and string wins together. String together enough and you turned it around.
Don't worry about what happened already. Stuff happened, now you just adapt and overcome.
Achievement cures depression. Any achievement. Dead time exacerbates depression - i.e. watching TV, drinking, drugs, playing mindless games, social media, porn, hell even reading sometimes if it's trash and you're just reading to escape your reality. One to two hours of entertainment time a day is fine, but more than that will just make you feel worse. Quit escaping your life because it's shitty or it will remain shitty.
So try this, set a small goal for yourself, either fitness or professional. You could take an online course to refresh your BI skills. Give that 100%. Knock it out, get some kind of certificate. Frame it.
Fitness always makes me feel better (plus it boosts serotonin). Try the "Couch to 5k" program online. You start just doing a light walk and jog, next thing you know you're running a race. That will make you feel great, I promise, it's awesome. If you have bad knees or something buy a bike, do a bike race.
Pick one small thing that you can win at, a relatively easy goal. Demolish it. The rest will come as you continue to set small goals and string wins together. String together enough and you turned it around.
Don't worry about what happened already. Stuff happened, now you just adapt and overcome.
Never quit.