I started as manager a bit after the start of the pandemic and left after 9 months.
I was full of hope and illusions, but I had to recognize that it was not for me. Too many fires to manage, urgencies, external and internal politics, changes of management, lots of deliverables each week for the executive committee… What surprised me was that managing the team was very rewarding and I quite enjoyed it. I also benefited from a mentor and a coach.
But at some point, I was asked to do stuff that I found dubious ethically (not illegal or anything, just some “flexibility” with the truth) and I became ill. I had to take antidepressants and anxiolytics. A few weeks later I had to take a sick leave for 4-5 weeks, then I talked with my N+1. I have the chance that I work for the state, so I just had to ask to get my previous position back. I thought that I would be burned, but I was directly assigned in the core team of the biggest business transformation project the company had ever had, together with MBB consultants. I also got like 5 other internal offers from other teams that wanted to hire me.
I do not regret my passage as manager because I met a lot of people and grew my network. It was a very exposed position so I had to manage a lot of bullsh*t but it was very central, so I had the privilege to work with all the executives of the company.
I lost a bit of salary (management bonus) when I got back as individual engineer but got my serenity back. Now I’ve just been promoted to Principal Engineer, which is almost the same package as when I was manager, but for an IC. I also find it important for me for the recognition it gives.
So now I understand better that middle management is really hard and, for me, not worth the price. But I have more appreciation for my colleagues that are managers. I may consider becoming a manager again in the future, but I am not sure yet.
I was full of hope and illusions, but I had to recognize that it was not for me. Too many fires to manage, urgencies, external and internal politics, changes of management, lots of deliverables each week for the executive committee… What surprised me was that managing the team was very rewarding and I quite enjoyed it. I also benefited from a mentor and a coach.
But at some point, I was asked to do stuff that I found dubious ethically (not illegal or anything, just some “flexibility” with the truth) and I became ill. I had to take antidepressants and anxiolytics. A few weeks later I had to take a sick leave for 4-5 weeks, then I talked with my N+1. I have the chance that I work for the state, so I just had to ask to get my previous position back. I thought that I would be burned, but I was directly assigned in the core team of the biggest business transformation project the company had ever had, together with MBB consultants. I also got like 5 other internal offers from other teams that wanted to hire me.
I do not regret my passage as manager because I met a lot of people and grew my network. It was a very exposed position so I had to manage a lot of bullsh*t but it was very central, so I had the privilege to work with all the executives of the company.
I lost a bit of salary (management bonus) when I got back as individual engineer but got my serenity back. Now I’ve just been promoted to Principal Engineer, which is almost the same package as when I was manager, but for an IC. I also find it important for me for the recognition it gives.
So now I understand better that middle management is really hard and, for me, not worth the price. But I have more appreciation for my colleagues that are managers. I may consider becoming a manager again in the future, but I am not sure yet.