I prefer a ruby Christmas tree:

                              "/|"\
                          "/wl)e";eval(\
                             "A | A"\
                            "A  |  A"\
                                \
                             "InHhL"\
                            ",Z,%w{-"\
                           ",Y&/LH,L*"\
                          "cCnd,Hh&/d,"\
                         "YCB/Hh,Y&YHh,"\
                        "L&xHh,L*v*nHh,*"\
                       "&ghHh,n&nHh,H*nHh"\
                      ",*q*v*nHh,Hw*qv*Hh}"\
                     "Iq&n*L,Z,[,n&qK,n&qK,"\
                    "@TwC,LH/&ng,gLBbL@K,@Th"\
                   "/**,YC/k*d,Hh/*QdL@K,@FCB"\
                  "/,cQqq&ng,=/CcL@K,@F&v*,RBb"\
                 "y,g*mL!@K,@S&x,mQ/LhQqL,dBm=&"\
                "ng@K,@S*v*n,dBckL,Q-Hy=&ng@K,@E"\
               "&ghH,d&/L,Q-gqCbb&ng@K,@N&n*,/Qng"\
              "*L,LH*==&ng@K,@T*n,H/yL,Q-cQHch&ng@"\
             "K,@Eq*v*n,&CL,=&=&ng@K,@Tw*qv*,mCnk*y"\
            "L,=QHch&ng@,]IDAJJA2)J*Qch,dC,U&UI=/&nH"\
           ",@\nOn,Hh*,\#{nHhL[&]},dQy,CY,MQHzmQL,my,"\
          "H/B*,qCv*,gQv*,HC,m*:\n@I&JdCwnHCD2),dC,UjU"\
         "I=/&nH,@,,,\#{q&n*L[j]}\n@I*ndI=/&nHDD&,ZZ,A)"\
                             "?,@,,"\
                             ",G@,:"\
                             ",@,,,"\
                             "Gnd,Q"\
                             "@)I=/"\
               "&nH,@,n*w,v*/L&Cn,CY,RBby!\n@I*nd"\
                "I".tr(' ID/VHLYGBqCA&|*UQJ=Z@K,',
                  '+;(r/tsfAulo1i8e|a.p=", '))

…and for non-rubyists, that outputs:

    On the first day of Matzmas my true love gave to me:
       A new version of Ruby!

    On the second day of Matzmas my true love gave to me:
       Two string gsubs
       And a new version of Ruby!

    On the third day of Matzmas my true love gave to me:
       Three forked threads
       Two string gsubs
       And a new version of Ruby!

    On the fourth day of Matzmas my true love gave to me:
       Four calling procs
       Three forked threads
       Two string gsubs
       And a new version of Ruby!

    On the fifth day of Matzmas my true love gave to me:
       Five Ruby gems!
       Four calling procs
       Three forked threads
       Two string gsubs
       And a new version of Ruby!

    On the sixth day of Matzmas my true love gave to me:
       Six marshals dumping
       Five Ruby gems!
       Four calling procs
       Three forked threads
       Two string gsubs
       And a new version of Ruby!

    On the seventh day of Matzmas my true love gave to me:
       Seven ducks a-typing
       Six marshals dumping
       Five Ruby gems!
       Four calling procs
       Three forked threads
       Two string gsubs
       And a new version of Ruby!

    On the eighth day of Matzmas my true love gave to me:
       Eight dirs a-globbing
       Seven ducks a-typing
       Six marshals dumping
       Five Ruby gems!
       Four calling procs
       Three forked threads
       Two string gsubs
       And a new version of Ruby!

    On the ninth day of Matzmas my true love gave to me:
       Nine ranges stepping
       Eight dirs a-globbing
       Seven ducks a-typing
       Six marshals dumping
       Five Ruby gems!
       Four calling procs
       Three forked threads
       Two string gsubs
       And a new version of Ruby!

    On the tenth day of Matzmas my true love gave to me:
       Ten trys a-catching
       Nine ranges stepping
       Eight dirs a-globbing
       Seven ducks a-typing
       Six marshals dumping
       Five Ruby gems!
       Four calling procs
       Three forked threads
       Two string gsubs
       And a new version of Ruby!

    On the eleventh day of Matzmas my true love gave to me:
       Eleven ios piping
       Ten trys a-catching
       Nine ranges stepping
       Eight dirs a-globbing
       Seven ducks a-typing
       Six marshals dumping
       Five Ruby gems!
       Four calling procs
       Three forked threads
       Two string gsubs
       And a new version of Ruby!

    On the twelveth day of Matzmas my true love gave to me:
       Twelve monkeys patching
       Eleven ios piping
       Ten trys a-catching
       Nine ranges stepping
       Eight dirs a-globbing
       Seven ducks a-typing
       Six marshals dumping
       Five Ruby gems!
       Four calling procs
       Three forked threads
       Two string gsubs
       And a new version of Ruby!

:)

That seriously scares me. Awesome!