Might just be 'cause I'm Serbian (we swear a lot, and the swearing tends to be very vulgar) and also grew up surrounded by Aussies, Kiwis, Brits and Irishmen, but to me "dickhead" barely registers as an insult or even all that unprofessional. I obviously wouldn't go around calling just about anyone a dickhead unprovoked, but I've been a part of plenty of teams where we talk to each other along those lines. Hell, I've had my fair share of "Cunt"s thrown around too. Obviously there's a cultural element at play here though, so what might be okay for me won't be for someone else.
That said I really don't think something like this warrants dismissal, unless it's a frequent problem. Obviously we shouldn't be going around and insulting each other for no reason, but are bosses really so fragile that they can't deal with a single instance of their subordinates being sorta mean to them and calling them names?
I worked at a public company in the Netherlands (TomTom) that employs many people from different countries and cultures, and many LGBTQ+ people as well.
In all earnestness, without any malice, my American friend (who I'd worked with before and at TomTom) asked a group of co-workers if anybody wanted to be his guinea pig for some new software, and boy that didn't over well with the Italian guy! He profusely apologized and explained what he really meant by the term "my guinea pig", and things were just fine, plus he learned not to call Italians "guinea pigs" (with either the hard or soft "g").
That same friend eventually left the company for a much better offer, but later TomTom rehired him with a huge promotion and pay raise because they really loved his work and desperately needed him, and he was irreplaceable. He was rehired and promoted to CTO, and finally he was having dinner with a bunch of the TomTom founders and executives, including the CMO Corinne Vigreux and her husband the CEO Harold Goddijn.
Then Corinne Vigreux said something blatantly transphobic, which she obviously meant as a slur (unlike his "guinea pig" faux pas that he immediately apologized for), so he called her on it, and she would not take it back or apologize, and that incident led to him suddenly leaving the company.
That was after TomTom spent huge amounts of money to initially recruit, then later rehire and retain him, he designed and implemented key parts of their infrastructure, and they even prominently featured him in many of their recruiting videos and magazine articles and LinkedIn posts, saying how much he liked working there -- many of them are still online at TomTom's recruiting web site!
But thanks to the inherent power imbalance, her executive level privilege, and the nepotistic advantage of being married to the CEO, she got away with it scott free, and they hushed up the reason he left).
He lost his dream job, and everyone else was left wondering why he suddenly disappeared for no apparent reason, after being so pleasant to work with, performing so well, and being so frequently exploited as a recruiting spokesperson, and interviewed as a representative of the company. (I am not exaggerating that if you google tomtom + his name you get pages of unique interviews and articles over many years.)
Corinne Vigreux drove him out of his job for speaking out against her intentional slur, when she clearly said and meant it in front of several other people, when she's the one who should have been reported to HR and punished for what she said, not him.
Over many years, TomTom spent a LOT of money recruiting, relocating, then re-recruiting him, they loved his work. I originally recruited him by introducing and recommending him to executives, managers, and HR. I still have the enthusiastic emails I sent with and about him, which they acted on by giving him an offer he couldn't refuse and relocating him. I never got any recruiting bonus, since I was a contractor at the time I recruited him. I just wanted the opportunity to work with him again, and cherished the opportunity to get the old band back together in Amsterdam.
The manager I recommended him to, who hired him and worked closely with him, was shocked and dismayed to hear about the actual reason he suddenly left. Especially because the company culture as a whole is definitely not transphobic, and I know current employees with trans children who were also quite shocked to hear about Corinne Vigreux's bigotry. TomTom certainly gives a lot of lip service to inclusivity on their web site.
Introducing the LGBTQIA+ Committee: How TomTom is empowering inclusive action:
But after the derogatory transphobic bullshit Corinne Vigreux said in front of witnesses, which was clearly in violation of company policy, culture, scientific facts, and just plain human decency, I believe she morally owes TomTom a refund of all the money they spent recruiting and relocating and hiring him twice, as well as all the money they had to spend replacing him.
Because she can CERTAINLY afford it. She might even learn to keep her bigoted mouth shut and transphobic opinions to herself, or grow some thicker skin if she can't bring herself to be do that, merely being polite and respectful to her own employees, instead of being bigoted and vengeful. And not to be so blatant about taking advantage of her nepotism and exploiting the power imbalance and her husband.
Not just because of all of TomTom's money and reputation she burnt at the altar of her ugly bigoted vanity, but because of how difficult her bigotry and nepotism make it for TomTom to recruit and retain good people: a problem she recognizes and publicly talks about herself. The transphobia's one thing, but losing high level talented employees because they stand up to transphobia or any kind of bigotry is much more systemically worse, and should be actionable by HR.
>In fact, she thinks, the lack of talented staff is “the biggest issue most organisations are facing. You have to fish in a bigger pond to fill those gaps. So of course you should look at women too”.
Apparently not trans women, nor people who stand up to her transphobic bigotry either.
TomTom certainly hasn't been doing well under HER leadership (just google the ill-fated sports watches and "TomTom Bandit" that you've probably never heard of -- maybe the product name was too honest about the cost of its subscription service).
But being married to the CEO has its nepotistic advantages, like being able to say whatever she wants in front of everyone, and then get rid of anyone who has the guts to stand up to her and call her out on her bigotry.
That said I really don't think something like this warrants dismissal, unless it's a frequent problem. Obviously we shouldn't be going around and insulting each other for no reason, but are bosses really so fragile that they can't deal with a single instance of their subordinates being sorta mean to them and calling them names?