Exactly. Asking questions is a strength not a weakness. Content of the question ...

margalabargala · 2025-10-19T17:06:55 1760893615

I work with a staff level engineer that I think internalized the article's advice in the worst possible way.

Rather that asking questions, or reading code, when confronted with something new they will state "I don't understand X" or "I don't know what a Y is."

And then expect someone to jump in and fill in the gaps.

It's incredibly obnoxious and grating on a personal level and makes me not want to work with this person despite their other, genuinely valuable skills.

Ancapistani · 2025-10-19T18:14:19 1760897659

In what context are they doing this?

I can see myself saying exactly that in a meeting where we’re trying to explore a problem space to plan or make decisions - in which case I’d want to make it clear that I’m coming at that part of it blind, and am seeking enough information to identify tradeoffs.

What I’m not doing is expecting someone else to do the work of learning so I don’t have to. It’s limited to the topic at hand, and if it’s something that I expect I’ll encounter again I’ll spend time afterward diving in and learning enough to answer those questions for others in the future.

I’m perceiving your comment as you considering their actions to be laziness or disinterest. Is that accurate? If so, then yeah, that’s a huge red flag that could mean that this person isn’t suited for their role and expectations. If not, then it might be fruitful to sit down with this person to understand why they’re asking those questions and what they’re trying to accomplish. It could be that they’re simply not communicating their intentions.

margalabargala · 2025-10-19T19:01:08 1760900468

The context is when this person joins an existing team/project to help out and do some work. So there will be, for example, a meeting where 4 people are up to speed, with this person present.

It's not expected that they know everything up front, of course. Onboarding to a new project takes learning.

A big part of the irritation to me is the fact that they decline to phrase their question as a question. Always a statement. They won't ask "what is X?", it's "I don't know what X is." Leaving the onus on others to reinterpret as a question for them.