The descriptions behind this worry does not echo strongly in me.
I grew up in a family without much money. I decided that the best solution to reduce expenses was to not ask for things. I didn't tell my parents about this because telling them might lead to them having more stress about money.
To give you some idea, everyone month or so we went out to dinner at a restaurant. That was so exciting for my sister and me. The restaurant? Burger King. Compare to the essay, where it says "we ate at McDonalds three times in two days" Jim Anthony's 6 year old is in a very different demographic than I was.
As an older kid, I might sometimes get a few quarters to play a video game (this was the 1980s), and I would spend 30 minutes watching others play, to make sure the quarter was worth it. I got my entertainment also by watching the screens and thinking about how it might be played.
I did get an allowance. It wasn't much. I didn't often ask for my allowance, since that would have been less money for the family. I recall I could get extra money for taking out the garbage or mowing the lawn. Perhaps not coincidentally, those are the two household tasks I now dread.
When I went off to college (full scholarship in a state school, including room and board, for doing well in school and on the PSAT - doing homework is free), I kept track of every single expense, down to a nickle used to make a photocopy. If any activity cost money, I avoided doing it.
I'm lead to believe that my viewpoint is not uncommon among those growing up without much money. It's not a fun feeling. My response still, when money is tight, is to shut down and do nothing.
Mind you, that's not the same as budgeting. Budgeting is spending for things that are worth it, and affordable. What I learned was to not spend.
Except for the parents mentioned in #11, I don't empathize with the comments.
Take #13. "It suggested an allowance of sorts, but it also required the children to cover the costs of some everyday necessary items, not just snacks, McDonalds or video games…more like clothes, shoes, haircuts, etc."
That wouldn't have worked for me. I didn't have the spending money for snacks, etc., and I would wear clothes and shoes until they had holes in them, and basically had to be ordered to get a haircut and new clothes. (See above, under "not spend money.") Actually, more like my mother had to drag me.
The essay starts with a strange observation about "blue collar", based on physical types. The entire essay can be seen as expressing a decades-old class-based upper-middle class anxiety.
Your experience mirrors mine to a large degree. I think most intelligent kids know their family's financial situation, and adjust accordingly. I didn't even ask for name brand clothing or toys because 1) I knew we couldn't afford them, and it would put stress on them, and 2) years of life in this environment made me not care about such frivolities. Kids aren't stupid, they learn proper spending behavior by what they see. I saw my parents buy bare necessities and working hard jobs. Naturally, I learned a hard work ethic and proper spending habits (barring a few years of excess in college when I started making actual money and felt it should be spent).
Right now we make good money (gotta love computing), and because of my habits the money fight is nonexistent in our family. If anything, I find myself constantly fighting to buy our kids less crap. I saw both kinds of kids growing up, and it's a really interesting thing to see how they are now as thirty-somethings. Many of the kids like me are in my boat now - even those who don't have education and professional jobs. Kids who got everything are now suffering in the current economy. It's a stark and obvious difference, at least where I'm originally from.
It's a nice life this way. I like getting a bunch of money for Christmas, and splurging on a tea mug and a set of digital calipers. Everything else is invested in the hope of early retirement. I hope my kids can see what I'm doing and do the same.
I think the key part of your comment is that kids learn by what they see their parents doing. All the tricks and schemes of trying to teach your kids the value of money will likely be useless if you, as a parent, don't have good money management skills yourself.
I think that holds pretty true for many things in life (i.e. the "teen pregnancy" gene), but definitely for money management. I also knew decently smart kids that didn't have a lot that now as adults go out and waste money at casinos and sports betting. They were a lot like us growing up, but their parents would spend anything extra on the lotto. So it definitely seems it has more to do with things we observe as children rather than actual income, education, and even learning from bad examples.
I had a completely different reaction (I related to this article very well. http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-stupidest-habits-you-devel...). My family didn't just have a lack of money we also had regularity problems with it. Short cycles (6 months on and off) of being employed or unemployed and it causes me issues with relating to money to this day.
I learned that when you get money you spend it as quickly as you can on the nice-to-haves or mostly-nessicary stuff because money will literally disappear from under your fingers on paying bills and buying food.
My favorite holidays growing up were Christmas and Tax-refund day. That's how my family got our first, second and third computers.
When my dad was employed he used to give me a generous (for the 80's) allowance of $20/week, but it rarely lasted more than a couple weeks.
I'm only now getting my finances straight because I can afford to and I'm spending countless hours reading personal finance books and articles and I've had a friend that grew up learning the value of money and he showed me it's power.
Thanks for the pointer. It's quite insightful. For the record, I did not grow up in a poor family, though a couple of my relatives are like that Cracked article describes. I now perhaps have some understanding as to why.
Interesting. I grew up in an (upper-)middleclass household, but feel much the same. I always got enough allowance from my parents, we had nice holidays and nice christmas presents. I got through university and into my first job without ever having real money issues. However, I hate to spend money (and I hated to ask my parents for it - even though they would have had no problems giving it to me). I am the kind of guy how books the cheapest hotel in town, avoids a museum if the entrance fee seems unreasonable and drives the cheapest bike (per km) on the market, even though it is my main mean of transportation. Am I just a cheap person? Maybe. But I give reasonable amounts of money for charity every month, and I guess I am not cheap when buying presents. It's just this inner feeling that "cost efficiency" is the holy grail in life. Never ever will I order the expensive steak, no matter the class of the restaurant.
On the other hand, you hear all these stories of lower-class lottery winners, that are unable to keep a fortune at least for a decade or two - so I guess thats an aspect of personality deep-wired within us...
Wow thanks for sharing. My experience was somewhat similar. While my parents earned plenty of money they preferred to save it for things like college. They were very frugal and stressed out about money and I adopted an attitude of not asking for things. I also remember being actively discouraged by my mom when I spent my own money on ice cream at the pool because she thought it was frivolous.
I'm lead to believe that my viewpoint is not uncommon among those growing up without much money. It's not a fun feeling. My response still, when money is tight, is to shut down and do nothing.
Your writeup echoes my childhood really well and largely my approach to budgeting.
I will say though that I just remember it being a part of life and not something that was odd, or not nice. Even though we were poor my parents scraped and went into debt to send me to a private middle school filled with rich kids. So that was even more odd being the "poor kid" in the class and wanting to spend all my time at my friends' homes all the way across town.
I never had an allowance, but when I wanted to sell candy to my classmates my mom fronted me the 10 dollars for the initial outlay of candy. So in that regard my entrepreneurship started early as a result of just wanting to have some spending money as a kid.
Your experience resonates with me and I hadn't seen it into words until now. It's a fate that still drives me to work harder so my future kids wouldn't ever go through it.
I read that some investors have a word for it "PSD": grown up Poor, very Smart and Driven.
I agree that the article talks about more well-off families since kids whining is mostly a tactic to get what they want. If the tactic never works it wouldn't be employed.
I grew up in a family without much money. I decided that the best solution to reduce expenses was to not ask for things. I didn't tell my parents about this because telling them might lead to them having more stress about money.
To give you some idea, everyone month or so we went out to dinner at a restaurant. That was so exciting for my sister and me. The restaurant? Burger King. Compare to the essay, where it says "we ate at McDonalds three times in two days" Jim Anthony's 6 year old is in a very different demographic than I was.
As an older kid, I might sometimes get a few quarters to play a video game (this was the 1980s), and I would spend 30 minutes watching others play, to make sure the quarter was worth it. I got my entertainment also by watching the screens and thinking about how it might be played.
I did get an allowance. It wasn't much. I didn't often ask for my allowance, since that would have been less money for the family. I recall I could get extra money for taking out the garbage or mowing the lawn. Perhaps not coincidentally, those are the two household tasks I now dread.
When I went off to college (full scholarship in a state school, including room and board, for doing well in school and on the PSAT - doing homework is free), I kept track of every single expense, down to a nickle used to make a photocopy. If any activity cost money, I avoided doing it.
I'm lead to believe that my viewpoint is not uncommon among those growing up without much money. It's not a fun feeling. My response still, when money is tight, is to shut down and do nothing.
Mind you, that's not the same as budgeting. Budgeting is spending for things that are worth it, and affordable. What I learned was to not spend.
Except for the parents mentioned in #11, I don't empathize with the comments.
Take #13. "It suggested an allowance of sorts, but it also required the children to cover the costs of some everyday necessary items, not just snacks, McDonalds or video games…more like clothes, shoes, haircuts, etc."
That wouldn't have worked for me. I didn't have the spending money for snacks, etc., and I would wear clothes and shoes until they had holes in them, and basically had to be ordered to get a haircut and new clothes. (See above, under "not spend money.") Actually, more like my mother had to drag me.
The essay starts with a strange observation about "blue collar", based on physical types. The entire essay can be seen as expressing a decades-old class-based upper-middle class anxiety.