I was in the same boat when I was 26-27. I was passionate, better than most in programming and had a better job than most. However, I was not happy. There was this constant fear that somebody would overtake me or somebody is x-years younger than me but earns y times more or he is so young but achieved so much more than me blah blah blah. This eventually led to mild depression(or at least that's what I think it was).
Then I started doing meditation. I don't want to preach but trust me it works. It made me focus on what's important and what's not. It made me realize that I am externalizing my happiness, that I am comparing myself to others when such comparison is not fair,that whoever I am comparing to might have problems of their own; nobody's life is perfect. But most importantly it made me realize that all my adult life I have been preparing to be happy without actually being happy. It's like this. If I do this project and publish my web app, I will be happy. Or if I conrtibute x-lines to some OSS and get my name on the contributers list, I would be happy. It was sort of like preparing your bed but never actually sleeping in it. So the TL;DR is start with a little bit of meditation.The Art Of Living Sudarshan Kriya and mindfullness would be my humble recommendations.
Can confirm, depresses, late-20s developer, bootstrapping, and with my self-worth too closely tied to what I output.
I used to run for meditation, but with having a baby at home I've let it slip, my family bring me a lot of peace and feeling of well being, and belonging, but running for meditation desperately needs to become a part of my life again.
The note about "preparing to be happy without actually being happy" struck me too, I'm always working, growing, fighting for the next thing, and I never take time to appreciate my successes, we're meeting with some fundraisers for the company we bootstrapped later today, and if we're successful, I'm taking a week off to spend with my family, not see the internet, and appreciate that shortly before turning 30, I might have bootstrapped my own company far enough to take a serious investor round.. why at 29.5 yrs old is that important… I don't know… imposed ageism I speculate.
>If I do this project and publish my web app, I will be happy. Or if I contribute x-lines to some OSS and get my name on the contributers list, I would be happy. It was sort of like preparing your bed but never actually sleeping in it.
That realization sounds a lot like the TED talk I saw recently from Shawn Achor. He likens it to always moving the goalposts on your own happiness. (FYI - you can get the same amount of info from this TED Talk as you can from his book. Not worth $7.)
