When you look for a job, you have to look at the company. Your boss might change, your project might change, but if the company has bad culture, it'll suck no matter what.
I got offers from FANG, but with family obligation, potential medical and care-giving needs, I took a job that I'm over-qualified at a very good WLB company. My job is easy (at least to me) because I'm over-qualified. It's not super-boring because of my position. I work 40-45 hours, minimum on-calls. I don't make FANG money, but good benefits, good PTO and nice people are worth more than money and stressful work.
Looking at the company hasn't worked for me in the past. My experience is that the managers do not follow the company policies. Great policies don't matter if they aren't followed.
Honestly, what you described tells me it's bad culture in the company. I had bad managers at good companies before, I either switched teams and they got moved. I also worked at a company with bad culture and bad managers. I left as soon as I realized they were all lying and never looked back.
Assume you are not the problem, then you work for a bad company. Leave now before it’s too late. Several of my friends are highly specialized positions that they can’t find jobs anywhere else. Almost 20 years in and they can’t get a job anywhere else.
"But what if I am the problem? " - I feel you're being cruel to yourself here. You mentioned on another thread the possibility of having ASD. If were you, I'd pursue getting assessed for that, because if you do have it, then its an explanation for stuff that might've gone wrong at work and a label that you could wear sometimes in so that people might be a bit more understanding. Some people are actually kind. ;) In a previous workplace I had a colleague, who was a genius, well, actually a tortured genius. He obviously had ASD, but no-one discussed it. Management gave him a hard time for turning up to work late because he had insomnia, and worried about stuff. Even though he stayed late to make up the hours. And all the rest of us didn't mind, we knew he was a bit "different" but we all liked and respected him, and if he needed to come in late to cope with life, then fine, the rest of us didn't mind being mandated to be there by 9.30 and him be exempted. In the end he got laid off, amongst a bunch of people including myself. I think he got hard done by really, and I sincerely hope he didn't blame himself or say that he was the problem. His behaviour was a little bit nuts sometimes, but... everyone kind of understood and accepted him... except sadly it seems, the management. If your management is like that too, well, that's a pity, but telling at least peers that had had ASD (if you actually have it) could help. As a non-American, I don't advocate therapists. The rest of the world we just go for a beer with our friends , have a good rant about stuff and feel much better and/or empowered by someone else's different take on things.
"If I fail somewhere else, they are one of the largest employers in my area." Are you suffering Stockholm syndrome? Just because they're big, don't let 'em push you around. I'm sure you got some good skills that other companies, possibly remote, would be happy to have :)
A therapist is there to help you understand if you’re the problem, if you’re trapped in an abusive environment, or if there’s something else you hadn’t considered.
I got offers from FANG, but with family obligation, potential medical and care-giving needs, I took a job that I'm over-qualified at a very good WLB company. My job is easy (at least to me) because I'm over-qualified. It's not super-boring because of my position. I work 40-45 hours, minimum on-calls. I don't make FANG money, but good benefits, good PTO and nice people are worth more than money and stressful work.